Another beginning

I'm back, and after a year of not writing I have decided there are stories to tell. They don't flood my mind and overspill onto the page, as they did in Ghana. But they are there. I watch them outside of me, I see them happening. I can feel them burn in my chest as I push them away and wait for the events to settle, never making their way out, never forming themselves. They are quickly sifted out of me and in to the forgotten details of the bustle of another day.
I'm in San Diego, both in mind and in body. And i count this as one of my most current blessings. all my realities match up. finally. i have outlived the portion of my angst-filled 20's, where i constantly found my desires and reality to be at war.
in college, excited to soon finish, i wanted to travel the world- again.
traveling the world, in taiwan teaching english all i could think about was home, the security of the English alphabet and sane drivers and food not laden with MSG.
back at home, thoughts of africa flooded my mind with a fierceness I couldn't ignore. i felt like i was going crazy. wise people said "it's okay. you're in your 20's, you're figuring yourself out."
i clung to that and made it my mantra- but it didn't help the way i wanted it to. i was hoping for some type of brain balm- something to soothe and numb these naggings, to transform them in to a tingling delight. but instead, i ached, my head ached. it was always one step ahead, breeding discontent, wondering what it could be doing- or should be doing.
until, everything caught up with everything, in Boamadumase, and over the course of my apprenticeship with Ma something very beautiful happened. This ball of turmoil and confusion had been refined in to a path, clear and bright.
i have returned to San Diego with confidence and gusto in my goal of becoming a nurse-midwife.