the next step

i start nursing school in less than a month. i am excited about this, and nervous. i have quit my job and am finishing up microbiology and organic chemistry. i have had my head in the books and have had very little time or creative energy for writing. i think about the day that i will be delivering babies as a fully trained and accredited midwife and it revs me up. i imagine myself working with women in refugee camps abroad. i imagine myself in america, in appalachia. i have never been to appalachia but i know the people there are poor, and it is rugged, and i am attracted to those things.
i originally shied away from the nurse-midwifery route because i was afraid of the prerequisites. i had avoided science and got a degree in art. then, while i was volunteering as a doula at the local hospital i had a realization. i looked around at the nurses and the doctors and the midwives in the room and i thought "what do they have that i don't?".
i am certain many of the people in that room were much smarter than i.
i am certain i was more intelligent than some of the others.
but what they all had that i didn't was grit and a period of time where they worked their (excuse my french) asses off and forfeited everything to become what they wanted to be.
i am ready for that time.