oops!

sofie had been working on what she referred to as "the bike project" since the beginning of her time in ghana. her goal was to get each health volunteer and staff worker their own bicycle. she had contacted an american NGO in accra, which gives discounted bicycles to people living in villages, after having provided a day of training them how to maintain it. every time she went to the internet cafe, she corresponded with the NGO and worked out the details of how to get 20 bicycles into Boamadumase.

she wrote up and list, with the help of Secetry and I, of who would be recieving a bike.

i remember the day we got the paper out, and wrote down the names. it was a few months ago. i don't remember exactly what happened, but somehow Ma got left out. i can faintly recall us all looking at each other skeptically as to whether or not Ma would want a bicycle. we might have even laughed at the thought of her riding around town.

just last week a big lorry filled with red postman bikes pulled down the road and unloaded the goods. they were stored in the men's ward until the day of training, a saturday, when some men from the NGO would visit our village and teach us all how to take good care of a bike.

the arrival of the bicycles created quite a stir. people in town saw the truck driving through, and now on my walk to work little children were asking me to give them a bike. everyone at the health clinic were anxiously anticipating being able to ride around, and were looking forward to recieving them. even sofie had an extra bounce to her walk, and kept peering through the shutters to get a good look at them all locked up and lined up.

most of the health volunteers have been asking for bikes for years now, i was told by ed. he's been promising, and was relieved to see sofie take charge and make it happen.

we were sitting in the office talking about how excited every one was, how happy they all were, how beneficial a bicycle would be for some of the volunteers that live miles and miles away, when i got up and walked across the lawn into Ma's office.

kingsley was leaned up against her doorway, and she was sitting behind her desk, in her white dress. kingsley was defending himself, shaking a little and nervous like Piglet.

i walked past him and sat down in a chair, ready to engage in some late afternoon conversation, when all of a sudden Ma exploded. i couldn't understand what she was saying, but i had never heard her speak like this before. Her face went from a glowing orangish to a greenish to a deeper red. she wasn't happy.

kingsley hid a little behind the door frame, while Ma's hands whipped around, smacking the air around her. i was afraid of what i just walked in on, afraid to look at Ma. her voice had grown deeper than a roll of thunder but there was something else peculiar going on... it was shaky.

when i glanced over at her i saw that her bottom lip was quivering and her big owl face was trembling at the edges. her eyebrows were like poison arrows.

i didn't say a word, i just crossed my hands and stuck them between my crossed legs and looked down. then, i listened attentively, as miKe waRRingTon would say.

"i never heard that!" the words flew passionatley in twi out of Ma's mouth "NOBODY EVER ASKED ME!"

"they wrote the list and said you didn't want a bike." kingsley said.

"WHO? WHO WROTE THE LIST? HMPF." she leaned back in her chair for a silent moment, then... "YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK TO ASK ME!"

my mind quickly retraced the making of the list. a surge of guilt shocked my body. had i spoken for Ma? said she didn't want a bike? cracked a joke about it? i felt i had to make something better, but i wasn't sure how.

"ma?" i said, a little too quietly.

"I AM THE HEAD MIDWIFE, SENIOR STAFF, NOBODY EVEN CARES!" she yelled. kingsley was toeing the ground.

"i think it was an accident." i said, sheepishly.

"EI! HA. HMPF." she stared blankly ahead, her mouth in full frown, with a look she was about to start crying.

"i'm sure we can get you your own bike."

"IT ISN'T THAT!"

silence and a deep breath.

"WHAT PAINS" she said "IS THAT NOBODY EVEN THOUGHT TO INFORM ME."

i realized this was a major blow. at the health center, under ghanaian terms, because she is the oldest person around, she should be the most respected. this shipment of bicycles was considered a big deal and she had had no idea it was happening, we had forgotten her.

"IF THAT IS HOW IT IS, FINE, I'LL PACK MY BAGS AND LEAVE."

her fury hadn't died down, i was suprised by how charged she was.

kingsley tried slinking away and Ma yelled at him to figure out who made the list. he called efreeyeh, who seemed to be the most elated from the idea of getting a bike. she loves bike riding. she walked through the screen door glowing with excitement, unaware of what was going on.

right when Ma started screaming at Efreeyeh, Efreeyeh began to laugh and looked down. this small interaction clarified so much for me. i had heard Ma admonish patients before, during consultation, and each did the same thing- that is- they looked down and laughed. i always thought i must have been interpreting the situation incorrectly, nobody laughs, nobody looks genuinely joyful when someone is yelling at them. but i was wrong, they do. efreeyeh looked happy.

"...HUH? TELL ME!"

efreeyeh said she didn't make the list, while kingsley escaped. "BUT YOU SAY YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE LIST? YOU ARE A MIDWIFE'S ASSISTANT, YOU SHOULD KNOW THESE THINGS!"

then Ma wrapped her arms close to her body and squeezed. "CALL VIC FOR ME!"

efreeyeh ran out and i sat with Ma. i wanted to ask her where she'd plan on riding around, which paths would she take, but i knew it was irrelevant.

"I'll PACK MY BAGS AND GO." she said.

i suddenly felt that she wanted me to resist that, i needed to talk her down from her bridge.

"Maaaaaaa... we need you here. you can't go."

"HMPF!"

"Really Ma, you're the master midwife. it was a bad mistake."

"A MISTAKE! last night that young woman came in, you and sofie and edward were here. why did you call for vic to come settle the case? huh? the young woman was pregnant, it should have been settled in maternity, but you called vic. she is only pretending to be a midwife. i am certified, but you didn't call me!"

"but they weren't certain it was a maternity case. they were trying to figure it out."

the woman was pregnant, and we had met her on the road in the dark, she was moaning in agony, her husband holding her up. we turned around and walked back to the clinic. she sounded like she could have been having a baby, but she was only 2 months pregnant. a possible spontaneous abortion, but there was no blood, and none ever came. we didn't feel the need to disturb Ma while she was sleeping. the doctors were taking care of it.

"THEY SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME! YOU SEE! ... and the other girl, the small girl whose father raped her. she went to vic. that should have been my case. she should come to me for antenatal, 6 months pregnant. she will come to deliver and i won't know who she is. hmpf! i didn't even know about her until you said something. why should she go to vic? i am the midwife! why?"

i could see her point. i felt guilty and i felt bad, mostly because Ma was hurt and i didn't like seeing her like this. not all the maternity cases were being referred to her. in her eyes, we were disrespecting and insulting her, and she had been storing up all this anger for awhile.

"both of those things upset you?" i asked.

"YES!"

"nobody knew. you didn't tell us."

"i know. why should i tell you?"

"because it makes you mad."

i quickly remembered mad means insane in this part of the world. i rephrased. "because you're angry and none of us even know."

"WELL IT'S NOT GOOD. NONE OF THIS IS GOOD. YOU SEE?"

"i'm sorry."

Madame Vic walked in the room and sat down across from me, cooly. she looked at Ma and then back at me. "we made a very bad mistake, we have forgotten Ma. she is the senior staff so if we are going to make a project we should inform her, ask her, see what she thinks. it's too bad." then she shook her head.

Ma shouted at Vic, then called everyone in for one last session. then we all left, droopy shouldered dragging our feet. secetry had just arrived, and as the screen door was shutting Ma heard his voice. "CALL SECETRY." she ordered me.

"secetry!" i pointed back through the door "Ma wants you."

he jumped off the bike, and laughed. when he walked past me into her area i could tell he already knew what he was in for. it looked like he was trying to shrug his shoulders up high so his head might fall down into the deep part of his tshirt. so he could cushion the attack.

i heard him squeal when she started yelling, and i looked back to see her words creating winds so vicious i hoped he'd make it out alive.

i walked back into the office, where ed and sofie were sitting.

"this is so cool!" sofie said, clapping her hands together. "all the bikes are here, i'm so excited!" she clenched her teeth and sucked in a happy breath. i gave her a smile back, but it was really fake.

i wasn't able to shake the wrath, it had stained my afternoon. it would be hard to get rid of, i thought, until efreeyeh walked into the office swatted me on the head and started boneshakin'.