Saturday, June 5, 2010

Excerpt from a true teacher

Second semester of nursing school; mental health. I have been spending my time in a locked psych unit (as a student, not a patient :)). We have an assignment to journal- to process the interactions and our observations and experiences.
I am at a school that is not the most organized or efficient, but they make up for it in student support. The culture of the school allows for intimate relationships between students and teachers and I'm finding it to be incredibly helpful.

Journal #1
Teacher asks: What is one concern you have about this clinical rotation?

From the last paragraph of what I write:
I don’t like the idea of assuming what people are feeling, hearing, and seeing is “not real”. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. This is a spiritual matter I am talking about. I often wonder about these people and the spiritual oppression or possession they may be under. I wonder how many of these people are needlessly suffering under demonic control. I wonder about freedom. What would freedom look like for each of these people? Is it always so gradual, or could it be immediate? Why would God allow a human to exist that has no conscience and then chooses to do bad things? I guess my concern is following the stories and observing the paths of which the human experience can travel down, and of knowing how I am not much different than the tortured soul in front of me.

Teacher response:
There is alot to respond to here, but the most important thing is the last part about the spiritual situation of these patients. We talked a bit about this after clinical this week, but this is what I would say to you. I don't know why a lot of bad things happen. I have seen patients that I suspected were truly evil, and I have seen plenty of suffering. Mostly there is a continuum of good to evil in all of us, and it just depends on how spiritually grounded/disctracted we are at any given moment. THe healing from addiciton, for example, has an awful lot to do with finding a spiritually grounded center again after a lot of, often, pretty bad behavior and harm to loved ones. It is a humbling journey to re-build those relationships. At the same time, I have seen deep spirituality and devotion in families despite devastation from chronic mental illness. WHy is one family strengthened and another is destroyed? It seems to me that it is in the same old spiritual path we all walk. Illness is illness. It is not the whole person or the whole story. If we can educate patients about that, then when the depression is so powerful that it feels like God is far away, maybe the person can recognize that it is the depression talking; it is not the reality that God has abandoned them. Whether you call it demons or something else, the reality is that the path back to God is a healing journey that includes spiritual care and ministering to the deep pain that we find in front of us. In the healing care we provide, God exists in us and that strength, hope, and love is what we give to our patients. There is no room for darkness in that ministering.

THat's my take on it from my own practice. We sell hope for a living, as far as I am concerned. That is of God...whole story in a nutshell. We represent the light and the truth, and the darkness doesn't hold up too well in the face of that light. I watched Star Wars on TV the other night. It's a bit like that scene where Luke confronts Vader, unwilling to accept that Vader had totally turned to the dark side. Luke's belief in the "good in him" helped Vader find that good in himself. Remember how Veder took his mask off and thanked LUke as he died renouncing the darkness? Most patients don't have it spelled out that clearly, but it's that kind of a process that we support as we help them to find their inner spiritual strngth and goodness. OUr unconditional acceptance of their value as children of God is often the vehicle for their being able to find spiritual peace.

WHy is there so much darkness? I don't know. That question is above my pay grade, and I've basically stopped asking it. I do know that this life is about growing spiritually to become more like Jesus. We are all a mess at one level or another. It is the journey towards godliness, spiritual communion with God, forgiveness of self and others, etc. that matters. You and I have been blessed with that ministry of healing. That's all I really know. I have that job, and it is a blessed thing to be doing. I sell hope, and it is my gift. I need to use that gift the best I can to serve my God. The rest is up to Him. This whole business is an act of faith. It's a great life!

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