dodging coconuts

sofie and i made another trip to the coast, this time a little further north. it was a place i had never been to, a place sofie loved.



"come on" she said "we've got to get out of the village this weekend. i can't be bothered to spend another weekend here, i'm tired of entertaining myself. please come!"



i felt indulgent, considering i had just been a month earlier, but the beaches here are too beautiful to refuse and we both were leaving Ghana in a weeks time. we had been working hard at the clinic, it was another well deserved vacation, i told myself.



"i just want to warn you" she said "it's posh, and there are a lot of oburoni's there."



it is always a little disconcerting transferring oneself between two extremely different realities in such a short amount of time, so i was thankful for the warning. when we arrived to the beachside resort it was much better than i had anticipated; not very crowded, still very earthy and relaxed, and more secluded than i was used to.



"ahhhhhhhhh" we both said when we stretched out on our beachside chaise lounges. i left to buy a water from the restaraunt. when i returned we debated sunscreen. both of us secretly admitted our visions, of people expecting us to have become darker. living in a village does just the opposite, that is, if you are culturally sensitive. sakola had forced me into covering up my legs for 6 months and they were in need of some exposure.



"none for me." i said, looking down my body, imagining white turning brown, then realizing white most often goes red first, "okay" "maybe a little."



the beach was close to empty besides a group of men sitting about 20 feet away from us. we paid them no attention, but when they started barking and screaming we couldn't help but look at them, then at one another.



neither sofie nor i said anything, but we let out a few little grunts of supierority and a secret girl pleasure. we continued to sunbathe.



the strange noises got louder, and they were disturbing our peace, so i sat up to try and see what they were doing.



when i glanced over i noticed one of the four men was peering back at me. he was short and overwieght and enjoying life in a very tight speedo.



he waved.



it was a creepy wave. his palm raised upwards like a balloon that just got away, then it stopped and he curled each finger downwards slowly and stiffly. i didn't want to be rude, so i waved back, emitting no emotion. i tried to look away afterwards but i wasn't quick enough. the man caught my wave as if i had blown him a kiss, he pulled it into his body, and shook all over like an epileptic.



it was a strange interaction. i didn't like it at all, so i laid back down and through clenched teeth told sofie NOT to turn her head.



"why?" she said, lying on her stomach, hugging her chair.



"they're staring." i whispered.



we were in their full view so i had to play it cool.



"oh fuck em." sofie said, but she didn't move either.



"they're gross." i said.



"i know. when you left to get the water they asked me where i was from. they're russian."



the men started up cheering and ranting and raving again. "geez" i said "people say americans are loud."



sofie laughed.



i would have liked to ignore them but instead i took an intense pleasure in being disgusted by them. "look" i said and sofie sat up. "what is he doing?"



the short one was down by the water, rolling down the shore sideways into the waves, like an out of control taquito. then he let the current bob him back up, only to do it again. it looked ridiculous. it looked like something i might have done.



i noticed a few local ghanaians staring.



i wanted to let them know i thought these white men were strange too, i wanted to tell them not all white people know each other.



i tried not to watch the short man but his energy was so demanding, rolling and thrashing about in the waves. then, as if he knew i would be staring, he popped up and waved. i quickly closed my eyes.



his friend was just the opposite, tall and strong with a shaved head, the only similarity was their matching dark blue speedos and how loud they both were. he began pacing underneath his big thatched umbrella, working up some sort of opening dialogue that i knew was coming our way.



"c'mon, we're going swimming."



sofie sensed the urgency in my voice and jumped up. we walked down to the water, fully aware of their eyes on us, and ran in. I submerged myself up to my neck.



"every where you go in the world there is always the guaranteed creepy guy. anywhere."



she agreed.



we swam a bit, the water was nice. "i don't ever want to go to russia." i said, ducking through the waves, glad for the first time to be wearing an unattractive bathing suit.



the pudgy russian had been floating around, circumventing our area. i knew that one moment of accidental eye contact would latch us together for the rest of the weekend. i kept my back to him at all times.



Eventually he made his way to the shore, like a forgotten piece of driftwood, where he lodged himself and didn't move for hours. I took special note of his large patches of back hair, clinging to his sides, like furry Christmas ornaments.



Sofie and I went for a walk down the beach. A man was walking in our direction, fully clothed, and when he got close he pulled out his phone and lined it up to get a picture of us. I quickly wrapped myself in my sarong, then I stared at him and said "people think they are so tricky with their camera phones!" I heard the courtesy shutter sound take the photo, then he slipped it into his pocket and continued.



"what the hell?" I said incredulously.



I was glad I did yoga earlier in the day, it was the only thing giving me inner peace, that and the fact that sofie wasn't noticing these things. "he took our picture?"



I, on the other hand, felt under attack, I felt I needed my slingshot. It would have made things a lot easier.



When we got back to our towels we split up. I went swimming again. The undertow was strong and the water had become rough. I body surfed a few waves then went to sundry.



"whats this?" I said, pointing to the big green coconut propped up right where I was planning to rest.



Sofie had her head buried in her arms and her stomach muscles were flexing from laughing. She wasn't looking at me.



"where did you get this coconut?"



she kept laughing then stuck her eye out in my direction. "it's a present." She said.



"from your boys?" I asked.



"they brought it over for you."



I moved it down to the sand and sat down. "why me?"



"I told them I didn't want it, that I'd give it to you."



The top of the coconut had been sliced open and the water from the inside was glistening in the sun. "I don't take coconuts from strangers, especially if I didn't see it be opened."



"no, you're not serious are you?" sofie asked.



I nodded. "rohypnol."



There was a moment of silence. I was certain sofie would think I was paranoid so I had to ask "why don't you drink it?" the way she was looking at it I knew she was thirsty.



"idunno really. It kind of grosses me out."



I laughed.



The men had created a link with the coconut and neither one of us knew what to do. So it sat in the sand while we both pretended not to be bothered by it.



I looked over at the Russian men and they were coolly staring off into the horizon.



It was a good looking coconut, taken from one of the palms directly above our heads. I could tell the flesh of the coconut would have been delicious, it appeared soft and sweet. I tried to strike a deal. "okay" I said to sofie "you drink it and I'll eat it."



She shook her head a definite 'no'.



"but you're thirsty?"



"don't care."



"okay then I'm going to pour out the water and go ahead."



"NO!"



the coconut and the men were eliciting too much power. I had to go back in the water, get away from it all, wash away the stress.



When I got out for the 3rd time, walked back up to our spot, I noticed the coconut was empty.



Sofie was asleep.



"sofie?!"



"huuuuhhhhh…"



"did you do it?"



"what?" she laughed.



"you drank it?"



"ya, it was rough. Tasted like sea water."



We both agreed that the men were repulsive, and so were their coconuts.



"should we go over and thank them?" she asked.



"THANK THEM! Sofie! and fall into their trap? No way. That was the whole point of the coconut in the first place."



"you're right." She said.



Instead we continued to watch them from afar. They were strange, and the more I observed the more I felt like I was on safari. I knew that if I kept my distance, like in all the wild animal parks, I would have a greater chance of limited contact, and if they tried to approach again, I would run.