back in the ward

i hadn't seen Ma yet from when i was on Christmas break. i had just gone through the ordeal with Watchman and Sakola and didn't want to disrespect her too, but if she asked where her X-mas gift was i was quitting my apprenticeship.

i knocked on her gate.

"COME!" she blurted.

i walked through her patio to her front door. i could see through the screen that she was in her spot, greasin' it up.

she saw me and yelled "MY CHIIIILLDD!!! COME COME COME!" her arms were held out wide, expecting a hug. it was the first motherly hug i'd gotten in quite some time. she didn't move out of her chair to do it, but that didn't matter. i threw myself at her and just soaked up the moment. the very strange moment. she held me, and shook me and rubbed my arms a bit and then spat me out on to her couch.

"How was your Christmas in Ho?"

I told her all about it. About the waterfalls and what i ate, about the hospital and how loudly the women yell.

"and you?" i asked. "how was your Christmas?"

"OHHHHHH, it was sweet. I was with my family, they took me to Accra. We ate fufuo and celebrated. Verrry nice." She hummed for a few seconds after she said this and i could tell she was well nourished. We all needed the break apparently.

The moment fell into an awkward silence. I don't think i've had a still time with Ma that didn't follow with a quiet lull and nothing to say. I was just glad it wasn't being filled up with "What did you get me for Xmas?". Though, since she wasn't bringing it up, i thought i would. i barely knew how to communicate without the phrase somehow circulating itself into conversation.

"Ma? People have been asking me why i didn't buy them a Xmas gift and-"

"WHO?"

"well, everyone i've seen, except Secetry."

"HUMPF. I'm sorry for that. It is the Ghanaian way and it isn't good."

"am i supposed to be getting gifts for all these people?"

"NO.NO. Who says you should be getting gifts for these people? You are the foreigner. Did they get YOU anything? Don't bother with them, it is the Ghanaian way to beg. They should be getting you gifts. HUMPF."

i was glad i stopped by Ma's.

"Are you coming to work tomorrow?" she asked me.

"Yes, i will be here." i said.

"Okay then, i will see you."

and i left.

i walked through town early the next morning and a taxi buzzed by me on its way to the clinic.

YES! it was not even 9 and already i knew my day was going to be exciting. i ran through the back way, behind scattered mud houses, jumping over chickens and dodging herds of goats. i wanted to get there fast, you never knew what kind of a case was coming in.

"She's a primi." Ma said. "This will take quite some time. You can go into the office and relax. Eat your porridge."

I don't like eating before witnessing a birth. A month earlier, I didn't like eating before or after a birth, and i've lost 10 pounds because of it. although my skin is getting thicker. i am also becoming more bold with Ma.

"No, i think i'll just stay right here." i told her.

she let me and i was in the room for hours with the young lady and her pain.

Ma, Efreeyeh, and i were all gathered around, watching the head make its slow journey out. Ma sat back down and told me to tell her when it was really coming. i thought it'd be a perfect time for a picture so i muttered under my breath "i wish i could take a photo right now." originally i had planned to photo document my time here, but i don't have the personality or guts to whip out a camera at the moments i'd really like to. like now.

"Too bad you didn't bring a camera." Ma said.

"I did!"

"Well then, GO GET IT!"

"but shouldn't we ask the mother, if it's okay?"

"as for her" Ma said "she has nothing to say about it."

i wasn't sure what that meant. i ran and got my camera. i stood far away from everyone and tried to secretly take a shot.

"COME and stand here. You can't get anything from back there." Ma was standing at the edge of the table, by the woman's feet. It seemed awfully close and intrusive. But i went. I took 1 picture of the (partial) birth, 1 of Efreeyeh and 1 of Ma. Then i put the camera down and went to collect the baby. Ma was untangling the cord from around it's neck like a she was unwrapping a complicated Christmas present.

"See how the cord has done this?"

Then she clamped and cut the cord and handed the baby to me.

The little body was limp.

i waited a few seconds expecting it to surge with life and a blasting scream, but nothing happened.

"Ma the baby is soft." i said.

"Take it to the table then." she replied.

I cradled the child and went over to the newborn station. i put her down and lifted her limbs. This is what a limp baby feels like, i told myself. Is this how a child dies? Can a child die?

I knew it was possible but i couldn't imagine it happening in my world.

"Ma i don't think this baby has much life. Can you please come over here and help me?"

She walked over and assessed what was before us. I was right. She took her hand and rubbed the tiny chest furiously. I assumed she knew what she was doing. I desperately wished i had some type of schooling so that i could help too, and also to know if what Ma was doing was an ideal method or not. I thought back to a Spanish bumper sticker my college roommate had that said "Nunca sacuda una bebe. Jamas." (or something along those lines) Never shake a baby, ever.

I wondered if this rubbing would be considered shaking.

The baby coughed and blinked her eyes a bit, and came to life more than she had before, but she was still different than the rest. She wasn't thriving. Ma seemed to think it was okay, and ordered Efreeyeh to do the wash. Then we both dressed her in a blue onesie, wrapped her in a stiff white cloth, and she was handed over to me to go to the nursery. I walked half way there and couldn't do it. I didn't want to put this little weak baby alone in a crib. i walked back to Ma.

"Ma could we please let the baby be with her mom?"

"Okay. Put her on the table."

So i did.

a minute later Ma said "Alright, now take the baby to the nursery."

60 seconds was better than nothing.

I carried the baby away and sat holding her in my arms waiting for the mother to come. I examined her fingernails. They were long and really needed trimming. How was that possible? I concluded a baby with long healthy fingernails was only meant to live, so i put her away in the crib and went back to clean up.

Later i went into Maame Vic's office and told her about the ordeal. Or what i considered an ordeal.

"I don't think Ma was worried at all, but the baby was limp."

She shook her head and frowned. "In that case, you have to give the baby some medicine to help her brain, because she might go home and start twitching and have damage."

The thought saddened me. It made me want to go to Midwifery school.

"but like i said, Ma is old-fashioned in her ways. She might not recognize. If the birth is taking long, you have to be quick! Quick! Quick in delivering."

Were we too lax? Should it have been done differently? I had to remind myself that Ma in her entire lifetime as a midwife has only seen the death of 3 babies. She was experienced. It was my lack of knowledge that was plaguing me.

"Well thanks for talking" i told Maame Vic.

"Come back later and we can talk some more."

"I will." I said.

I walked out of her office and thought back to that morning. The family had flooded the maternity ward, bringing food and water, new clothes and enormous cheer. I sat in the nursery with them all, mostly to secretly observe the baby AND to see how their culture responded to a newborn and her mother.

It seemed generally the same. The new grandmother was proud and the sister was telling the new mother to EAT! A lot of others were gathered in a semicircle around the baby's bed, laughing and thankful. Not to mention they were getting a kick out of the white girl in their midst.

The biggest difference was when the taxi came back. We walked out of the maternity ward, and they let me hold the child. I kept her until they had all gotten into the car, all 8 of them. It was a "5-seater". I handed them their newest member, making that 9 people.

"Thank you so much" Grandmother said. "You should come back with us!"

I looked at the car, and the family and laughed.

"BYE!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!" i yelled. that baby was going to be just fine.