Semester 3

Nursing School Semester 3.
Time is moving quickly. I am finally in my Obstetrics rotation. This time next year I will have graduated and become an RN and hopefully (if I get in) will be attending school to become a Certified Nurse-Midwife.
I sometimes still feel like the girl who mopped the maternity ward floors in Boamadumase. I become nostalgic for Ghana, for the village, for the way the women used to birth with the cool breeze flowing in through the shuttered windows and checkered curtains. I miss their moans, the ones that expected it soon to be over, the ones so confidant in their bodies and birth. And I miss the common sense unobstructed by rules. When a laboring mother was hungry, she ate.
I am learning a different way now. I am keeping an open mind during my 12-hr. shifts- attempting to understand our system and how this particular hospital sees and responds to its mothers. Something inside of me still feels bound though, like i'm in on a secret that hasn't been let completely out yet. the radical secret of trusting your body.
so i look to my blessing who has appeared in the form of my clinical professor. a certified nurse midwife herself she rounded up our group of students the first day and passed out crayons.
this is my woman, i thought.
she had us draw pictures of what we think a nurse should be prepared with during a labor. we all drew similar pictures. we were all right.
we also did introductions, and while we spoke of ourselves i saw in our professors eyes that she was actually listening. she was fully engaged and completely present.
there is something very intimate about being well listened to. it is a true skill and i believe for people like me who do not consider this a natural strength, it requires perseverance and a lot of practice. i'm going to try more.
also, this angel woman knows how to actually teach! i am starving to hear what she has to say. she is answering these old petrified questions that have sat in my psyche since my first attempts at asking Ma.
I miss Ma, but all knowledge obtained from her was through observation. She made it very clear to me the first day i started my apprenticeship she was not there to satisfy my curious mind. she was 74 years old and tired. "watch and you will learn" she'd say.
now, wisdom is pouring out like streams of long-awaited gold and i will listen.